Wistful Thinking

English Abuse – it should be a crime

I have become increasingly aware of a trend in the English language that disturbs me. While reading an otherwise well written novel I found multiple occurrences of this phrase: “…should of known…”
The correct (intended) phrase is “should have” or, in contraction form, “should’ve”. The contracted form is most likely the cause of this common confusion.

Many similar grammar stumbles that I see far too often are:
‘Then’ confused for ‘than’. In a major magazine I read an advertisement that blatantly mis-used (rather confused) the two.
Affect and not Effect. This is a difficult one and I often find myself confused and puzzled on it.
Verses as opposed to Versus. The former are small snippets found in the Bible. The latter is used to compare two (often opposite) things.
Weather relates to storms and temperature such as WHETHER you take an umbrella with you.

A few others that annoy me when I see or hear them are:
“I could care less”, “Irregardless” and “Unloosen”.
The intent of the phrase, “I couldn’t care less” is that you care so little there is no room for you to care at all.
“Regardless” means, literally, without regard. So, “Irregardless” (besides not even being an English word) would be a double negative
The same with “Unloosen”. And, while we are on the subject, it seems *very* difficult to remember that misplacing or failing to continue to possess something is to LOSE it. “Loose” is what you do when you un-tighten.

When you hear a newscaster talking about a criminal who has barracked himself from the police, he is not said to be “Held up” or “Hold up”. The proper phrase is “Holed up”; like a rabbit in a hole.
And the place in the bank for valuables; a BOX that is locked in the SAFE for you to DEPOSIT your special valuables is a SAFE DEPOSIT BOX. I suspect that because slurring the words sounds like “Safety Posit Box” this mistaken phrase has been promulgated.

While we are on this subject, let me implore you to stop using “myself” incorrectly. I am taken aback each time I read an email message with a phrase like this: “If you have any questions just contact Mary Sue or myself”. Why are we so afraid to say ME? It is not a curse word.
“You are welcome to go to the movies with John and me.”, is the correct grammar. If I am the object of the sentence it should be “me”.
“John and I are going to the movies tomorrow.”, demonstrates the common situation where I am the subject.

I do not profess to be perfect when it comes to grammar. But I feel compelled to strive for perfection in my communication skills, and I encourage you to also. We are blessed with a language that provides a rich vocabulary, enabling the selection of precisely the optimum word for the occasion.
Here are a few mnemonic tricks I use to keep these things straight:

• Then vs. Than

  The “E” in ‘then’ reminds me that this refers to an Event; something that has occurred in time. The other is a choice; so the “A” relates to an Alternative

• Affect vs. Effect

  Again the “E” is related to an Event; something that occurs in time. Moreover, the “A” reminds me that his applies to something ACTIVE that I can do. I can AFFECT something and then I will (at some point in time) see the EFFECT of what I did.

• Weather and Whether

  I remind myself that if there is a storm coming, “Get The ‘H’ out of there!!”. That is why WEATHER has no ‘H’ after the W.

• For Lose and Loose

  There are two ways to think of this. First, you will LOSE the extra “O”. Secondly, there is and extra letter (“O”) on the LOOSE

• Your vs. You’re

  Remember that apostrophe (‘) is used to denote a contraction; where two words that are commonly used together get squeezed into one. If you can replace the use of [your/you're] with two words, “You” “are” then it demands the apostrophe. Otherwise, the appropriate word would be ‘your’ – which denotes possession. { If it BELONGS to you (possession) you do not need any help from an apostrophe }

• The Me and I test

  Try the sentence without the other name and see how it sounds. Using the examples above, “You are welcome to go to the movies with John and me”. Here “I” would simply SOUND wrong.

‘African American’ is a meaningless phrase

This has been troubling me for quite some time. Regardless of the socio-political implications of it, the label “African American” makes no sense.

Firstly, if you are born in America* then you are an AMERICAN. One of the outstanding things about America is the fact almost all of its people came from somewhere else.

As Bill Murray’s character (John Winger) states, “We’re Americans, with a capital ‘A’, huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world.”
And, only if your mother and father were citizens of Africa (and you are born in America) would you be an African American. By the same token if (and only if) your parents were born in Australia you would be an Australian American.

What has disturbed me the most is that this moniker has absolutely no value in the context in which it is regularly used. There are many people in Africa whose skin is not dark. If two of those people came to America and a baby was born here, that baby would NOT HAVE DARK SKIN but would TRULY BE AN AFRICAN AMERICAN.

This “politically correct” phrase is completely impotent and has not become so overused as to be annoying. My mother’s parents immigrated to the USA directly from Poland. My father’s grandparents came from The United Kingdom. I AM NOT a Polish American. I AM NOT a British American. My parents were naturally-born Americans and I am too. Just because your skin is dark you SHOULD NOT BE CALLED an African American. It is simply absurd.

*which, as a matter of fact, I am and very proud of it. I often find myself NOT proud of the attitudes and actions of some of my fellow American citizens. But that does not alter my pride in being born as an American.