Here on the street where I live
BOGO on Eyes
No thanks. I already have two!
Sex is a verb not a noun
“Why do we fill a form out by filling it in?” — ‘English is a crazy language’, Richard Lederrer
I was at the doctor’s office. This was not my first time in a doctor’s office; but a first time at this doctor. So I was handed a clipboard with a stack of “questionaires” to complete. I have no objection to filling out these forms. It helps to pass the time you spend waiting to be seen (I have no interest in any of the magazines they typically stock in a doctor’s waiting room).
There were a few things about these forms, though, that – although not atypical – caused me to pause:
First, why is it that the area provided for address has a very short space for City and a much longer space for State? It has been a standard for years to use two-letter abbreviations for the state. Yet, there is never enough space for my long street address because the state has hogged most of the width of the page!!
And there are spaces that left me wondering what I should enter. Like sex. I was tempted to simply write, “I approve”. But then I realized this is not an opinon poll. This is pertinent information about me. So I wrote, “OFTEN”.
Then there was a field named Race. I assumed EVERYONE who entered this office would answer this the same way I did! Why ask a question when you already know the answer? But, for the sake of thorough consistency I entered my race: Human
I was struck by a realization of the irony behind the whole process of completing this form. My handwritten responses will be transcribed (and my penmanship is very poor) by the medical assistant there and entered into a computer application. With our obsession with technology gadgets (everyone is on their Blackberry talking or texting all day long) why can’t I simply bring the doctor a CD or thumbdrive that contains my medical history?
And, there is a much bigger question that ’seriously’ bothers me. Once I got to meet with the doctor, my very first meeting where I expected him to carefully review my medical background, he made no comment about the answers I provided on the form; which he had in front of him!! I guess for Race I should have written 5K dash!
No Wonder the Plants Don’t Grow!
I think this photo, taken on the UCF campus, says it all.
It is downright spooky
I was in Winter Park during the fall.
Halloween Photo-Irony
In the United States you can see decorations in preparation for Halloween. When I spotted this decoration (a pumpkin, skillfully placed over the light on one of the pillars that marks the driveway entrance), almost ‘labeled’ by the address, the irony struck me immediately.
Do you see what I see? Maybe I am just too much of a geek (I have The Knack) and truely believe “The glass was overdesigned” (see my earlier post: Engineer).
In Training…
Today I visited the local Goodwill outlet that was just built in Oviedo. I think the Goodwill organization is magnificent and I am very happy to give them my money. Shopping in those places is like an unpretentious pawn shop.
The wonderful lady at the checkout was wearing a badge that read, “Employee in training”. It brought a funny idea to mind. I wonder how people would react if I walked through the store wearing a badge that read Shoplifter in Training ?
I know where you live
I was cleaning up all the trash in the neighborhood that seems to blow right down to the wooded area in front of my house*. 
Along with the usual beer cans and used condoms [parents, you really need to be aware of what your college student is doing while away from home] I uncovered this piece of discarded mail.
Armed with this name, address and account number a [not so] skilled identity thief could start opening accounts in this person’s name; stealing goods and further damaging her credit.
It only takes one search on Google to reveal a Facebook page full of personal details.
Heed this warning. Be more careful with your personal information. Purchase a shredder and use it (But do not let your trash be compromised by outdoor creatures who will leave that stuff strewn all over the neighborhood).
Honestly, I was angry and frustrated when I began writing this and had planned to post a close-up of the letter; which has a complete name, address and account number. But as I was editing this post God reminded me that would be wrong. Praise Jesus for his influence on my life!
*It is frustrating and infuriating how these residents (primarily the college students who are renting; 6 and 8 to a house) will gladly put the trash at the curb but refuse to take any responsibility for it after that. Trash bags sitting on the curb are desirable targets for stray cats and the wild animals that live in the nature preserve next door.
May the FOURS be with you
When I relocated to Central Florida, one of the first things I found myself struggling with was the new highways. In any town, as a newcomer you need to learn the major streets; their local names and the ‘official’ names. But here it was particularly difficult because there are so many similarities.
What is so special about the number 4?
I think those who decide on the highway numbering wanted to perpetrate a vicious prank on the residents of Orange County.
Just in my local area there exists:
- Route 424
- Route 436
- Route 426
- Route 417
- Route 408
And running across all this is the Interstate, I-4 !
It would take a lot of convincing for me to believe this was not a massive government plot to add an excessive amount of complexity to our life here in The Sunshine State.
