Why
Sex is a verb not a noun
“Why do we fill a form out by filling it in?” — ‘English is a crazy language’, Richard Lederrer
I was at the doctor’s office. This was not my first time in a doctor’s office; but a first time at this doctor. So I was handed a clipboard with a stack of “questionaires” to complete. I have no objection to filling out these forms. It helps to pass the time you spend waiting to be seen (I have no interest in any of the magazines they typically stock in a doctor’s waiting room).
There were a few things about these forms, though, that – although not atypical – caused me to pause:
First, why is it that the area provided for address has a very short space for City and a much longer space for State? It has been a standard for years to use two-letter abbreviations for the state. Yet, there is never enough space for my long street address because the state has hogged most of the width of the page!!
And there are spaces that left me wondering what I should enter. Like sex. I was tempted to simply write, “I approve”. But then I realized this is not an opinon poll. This is pertinent information about me. So I wrote, “OFTEN”.
Then there was a field named Race. I assumed EVERYONE who entered this office would answer this the same way I did! Why ask a question when you already know the answer? But, for the sake of thorough consistency I entered my race: Human
I was struck by a realization of the irony behind the whole process of completing this form. My handwritten responses will be transcribed (and my penmanship is very poor) by the medical assistant there and entered into a computer application. With our obsession with technology gadgets (everyone is on their Blackberry talking or texting all day long) why can’t I simply bring the doctor a CD or thumbdrive that contains my medical history?
And, there is a much bigger question that ’seriously’ bothers me. Once I got to meet with the doctor, my very first meeting where I expected him to carefully review my medical background, he made no comment about the answers I provided on the form; which he had in front of him!! I guess for Race I should have written 5K dash!
This is not a blog post
“If it quacks like a duck…”
Although this is one of several posts on a blog, this is not a blog post.
I received an interesting piece of [junk] mail the other day. It was from AT&T and an obvious attempt to convince me buy more services. 
We all have received these letters with an attached check. Well, it is quite obvious it is not real check. But a common marketing technique to make you feel like you are getting money (which is really in the form of a ‘discount’ when you buy*)in its aggressive marketing had been sending promotional mail with what appeared to be a check. We all have received them. We realized it was a ‘marketing ploy’. Apparently, not eveyone.
So, I can understand that, in an effort to protect [the naive?], a law was passed that mandates it be clearly identified as not a real check.
So when I saw this I was immediately struck by the irony. It is actually comical that they continue to print what looks like a check, with the text to disclaim that it is not a check. How silly is that?
*I have trouble perceiving this as money in my pocket. It nothing more than an artificial discount on the cost of a service I was not interested in purchasing in the first place! But that discussion is a subject for a future post.
You get what you pay for?
I was in the Post Office, here in Orlando, the other day. I needed to send a package to New Jersey. I must admit the staff in the Post Office is *very* friendly. Actually, they are quite ‘chatty’. So, overall it is not an unpleasant experience to visit the Post Office (unlike a trip to the Department of Motor Vehicles!).
After announcing the price for shipping the package, the clerk asked, “Would you like delivery notification or insurance?”. I was stunned. If I need to pay ADDITIONAL MONEY for a guarantee it was delivered or that it will not be damaged, then WHAT AM I PAYING FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE?
The US Postal Service is notorious for this, though.
In an attempt to be an educated consumer I once asked about ‘Express Delivery’. The advertisements spout, “Guaranteed 2 Day Delivery” or “Guaranteed Overnight Delivery”. That is wonderful. I asked what happens if it is late. The clerk simply gave me a blank stare. Then proceeded to explain that there is no consequence if the package does not arrive as ‘guaranteed’. Well, to me that is no GUARANTEE!
Other carriers (whom I need not name) provide a definitive restituion if they do not meet the promised delivery schedule. That is a guarantee!
May the FOURS be with you
When I relocated to Central Florida, one of the first things I found myself struggling with was the new highways. In any town, as a newcomer you need to learn the major streets; their local names and the ‘official’ names. But here it was particularly difficult because there are so many similarities.
What is so special about the number 4?
I think those who decide on the highway numbering wanted to perpetrate a vicious prank on the residents of Orange County.
Just in my local area there exists:
- Route 424
- Route 436
- Route 426
- Route 417
- Route 408
And running across all this is the Interstate, I-4 !
It would take a lot of convincing for me to believe this was not a massive government plot to add an excessive amount of complexity to our life here in The Sunshine State.
