Chiropractic Car Care?

Many similar grammar stumbles that I see far too often are:
‘Then’ confused for ‘than’. In a major magazine I read an advertisement that blatantly mis-used (rather confused) the two.
Affect and not Effect. This is a difficult one and I often find myself confused and puzzled on it.
Verses as opposed to Versus. The former are small snippets found in the Bible. The latter is used to compare two (often opposite) things.
Weather relates to storms and temperature such as WHETHER you take an umbrella with you.

A few others that annoy me when I see or hear them are:
“I could care less”, “Irregardless” and “Unloosen”.
The intent of the phrase, “I couldn’t care less” is that you care so little there is no room for you to care at all.
“Regardless” means, literally, without regard. So, “Irregardless” (besides not even being an English word) would be a double negative
The same with “Unloosen”. And, while we are on the subject, it seems *very* difficult to remember that misplacing or failing to continue to possess something is to LOSE it. “Loose” is what you do when you un-tighten.

When you hear a newscaster talking about a criminal who has barracked himself from the police, he is not said to be “Held up” or “Hold up”. The proper phrase is “Holed up”; like a rabbit in a hole.
And the place in the bank for valuables; a BOX that is locked in the SAFE for you to DEPOSIT your special valuables is a SAFE DEPOSIT BOX. I suspect that because slurring the words sounds like “Safety Posit Box” this mistaken phrase has been promulgated.

While we are on this subject, let me implore you to stop using “myself” incorrectly. I am taken aback each time I read an email message with a phrase like this: “If you have any questions just contact Mary Sue or myself”. Why are we so afraid to say ME? It is not a curse word.
“You are welcome to go to the movies with John and me.”, is the correct grammar. If I am the object of the sentence it should be “me”.
“John and I are going to the movies tomorrow.”, demonstrates the common situation where I am the subject.

I do not profess to be perfect when it comes to grammar. But I feel compelled to strive for perfection in my communication skills, and I encourage you to also. We are blessed with a language that provides a rich vocabulary, enabling the selection of precisely the optimum word for the occasion.
Here are a few mnemonic tricks I use to keep these things straight:

• Then vs. Than

  The “E” in ‘then’ reminds me that this refers to an Event; something that has occurred in time. The other is a choice; so the “A” relates to an Alternative

• Affect vs. Effect

  Again the “E” is related to an Event; something that occurs in time. Moreover, the “A” reminds me that his applies to something ACTIVE that I can do. I can AFFECT something and then I will (at some point in time) see the EFFECT of what I did.

• Weather and Whether

  I remind myself that if there is a storm coming, “Get The ‘H’ out of there!!”. That is why WEATHER has no ‘H’ after the W.

• For Lose and Loose

  There are two ways to think of this. First, you will LOSE the extra “O”. Secondly, there is and extra letter (“O”) on the LOOSE

• Your vs. You’re

  Remember that apostrophe (‘) is used to denote a contraction; where two words that are commonly used together get squeezed into one. If you can replace the use of [your/you're] with two words, “You” “are” then it demands the apostrophe. Otherwise, the appropriate word would be ‘your’ – which denotes possession. { If it BELONGS to you (possession) you do not need any help from an apostrophe }

• The Me and I test

  Try the sentence without the other name and see how it sounds. Using the examples above, “You are welcome to go to the movies with John and me”. Here “I” would simply SOUND wrong.

With that incredible heritage it is even MORE FRUSTRATING to me when I use the public switched telephone network (in the USA) and encounter the following message:

Well, if the switching network can detect that I need a ONE when dialing this number why doesn’t it simply PRETEND I DID ?

“It is not necessary to dial ONE…” is equally annoying.  For the same reason, why doesn’t the network simply absorb that one I dialed?

These issues do not appear when using a cellphone.  Admittedly, the cellphone dialing is buffered (queued) as opposed to real-time (sequential).  But that is no excuse.

We have electronic devices that even {find the name of the author of Dick Tracy} could not conceive less than a century ago.  Yet, we are forced to tolerate verbal abuse and reprimand – in the form of an impersonal recording – for pressing a few too many buttons!

I use various devices (machines) to simplify my existence.  I have grown to EXPECT them to act in an intelligent way.  There is no good explanation for this behavior and no reason the telephone network should continue to operate in this way.

Is there something hanging from the inside mirror in your car?
The results of my informal, [barely] scientific testing reveal that more than 90% of Americans have something dangling from the mirror in their automobile. This [far from] exhaustive research has been accumulated during my daily commute of 70 miles each way. In that 4 hours-a-day on the road I see many vehicles. On average, no less than 4 out of 5 of them are Danglers.
Let me know if you are among the majority. Comment on this post (below). And be specific about what is dangling in your vehicle; is it for good luck, a memento of some special event, or perhaps simply keeps the car smelling “Pine Forest Fresh”.

This appears to be only a U.S. anomaly. If you represent any other country, please weigh-in on the discussion.

Firstly, if you are born in America* then you are an AMERICAN. One of the outstanding things about America is the fact almost all of its people came from somewhere else.

As Bill Murray’s character (John Winger) states, “We’re Americans, with a capital ‘A’, huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world.”
And, only if your mother and father were citizens of Africa (and you are born in America) would you be an African American. By the same token if (and only if) your parents were born in Australia you would be an Australian American.

What has disturbed me the most is that this moniker has absolutely no value in the context in which it is regularly used. There are many people in Africa whose skin is not dark. If two of those people came to America and a baby was born here, that baby would NOT HAVE DARK SKIN but would TRULY BE AN AFRICAN AMERICAN.

This “politically correct” phrase is completely impotent and has not become so overused as to be annoying. My mother’s parents immigrated to the USA directly from Poland. My father’s grandparents came from The United Kingdom. I AM NOT a Polish American. I AM NOT a British American. My parents were naturally-born Americans and I am too. Just because your skin is dark you SHOULD NOT BE CALLED an African American. It is simply absurd.

*which, as a matter of fact, I am and very proud of it. I often find myself NOT proud of the attitudes and actions of some of my fellow American citizens. But that does not alter my pride in being born as an American.

Gravity is getting stronger
It seems, as time goes on, things do not stay in my grasp quite as easily. Everything is heavier than 10 years ago.
It is increasingly difficult to get up from a crouch or get off the floor after playing with the dogs.
And when I stumble or fall the consequences are more severe.

Time is accelerating
I have a good recollection of things that have passed. But the distance between points in time has become compressed.
It was not so long ago that I found it terribly annoying to wait [for anything]. Recently, I have noticed that nothing seems to take so long I can’t wait for it.
And my children are suddenly grown and married! That was in the blink of an eye. Years are passing far more quickly.

The air is becoming more dense
It is increasingly more difficult to move through space.
Things appear a bit more ‘hazy’ in the distance.
Even sound is dampened by the ever-growing density of the atmosphere

And all these changes are dulling my senses. My brain seems clouded and muddled by this shift in the Physics of the world.

Have you noticed these things, too?

It seems everyone in the family can have a Small car. At least you have additional storage space in the garage!!

No thanks. I already have two!

I was at the doctor’s office. This was not my first time in a doctor’s office; but a first time at this doctor. So I was handed a clipboard with a stack of “questionaires” to complete. I have no objection to filling out these forms. It helps to pass the time you spend waiting to be seen (I have no interest in any of the magazines they typically stock in a doctor’s waiting room).

There were a few things about these forms, though, that – although not atypical – caused me to pause:

First, why is it that the area provided for address has a very short space for City and a much longer space for State? It has been a standard for years to use two-letter abbreviations for the state. Yet, there is never enough space for my long street address because the state has hogged most of the width of the page!!

And there are spaces that left me wondering what I should enter. Like sex. I was tempted to simply write, “I approve”. But then I realized this is not an opinon poll. This is pertinent information about me. So I wrote, “OFTEN”.

Then there was a field named Race. I assumed EVERYONE who entered this office would answer this the same way I did! Why ask a question when you already know the answer? But, for the sake of thorough consistency I entered my race: Human

I was struck by a realization of the irony behind the whole process of completing this form. My handwritten responses will be transcribed (and my penmanship is very poor) by the medical assistant there and entered into a computer application. With our obsession with technology gadgets (everyone is on their Blackberry talking or texting all day long) why can’t I simply bring the doctor a CD or thumbdrive that contains my medical history?
And, there is a much bigger question that ‘seriously’ bothers me. Once I got to meet with the doctor, my very first meeting where I expected him to carefully review my medical background, he made no comment about the answers I provided on the form; which he had in front of him!! I guess for Race I should have written 5K dash!

Having worked on the Internet since its birth, I have been keenly aware of this problem; watching it grow in a non-linear fashion in recent years. There are numerous technology solutions; some quite complex and annoying. But this is really not a technology problem. It is a human problem.
We need help, as human beings, in managing our Internet experience.

I have a solution. I ask you to bear with me – understand how this works – and indulge me in giving it a try. Together, we may just revolutionize the safety of the Internet!

Whenever you log into a site, get in to the habit of FIRST entering an incorrect password.
“That sounds ludicrous!”, I hear you shouting. Well think about it this way.
Suppose I am logging into my mortgage bank. This is a site I go to barely twice a year. The big banks are also prime targets for Phishing.
The victim of a successful phishing attempt will provide a valid username and associated password – believing she is logging into the bank site – to the criminal. And what’s more disturbing, the victim is completely unaware it even happened!

With my plan to fight Phishing this changes.

If this is a phishing site it will

#Revenge on the bad guys
What’s more noteworthy is that I have provided the phisher useless infromation. He will sell the set of username/passwords collected and, over time, be recognized as a bad source when a large number of them are incorrect.

I think it is a perfect plan! If we all make the committment to inconvenience ourselves just a little there might be a day that phishing is extinct!